Late last year, I had a very good friend come visit us from out of state. During a late night talk, I had one of those "ah-ha" moments that quietly change your life. One of those moments you can look back on, and pinpoint a very real change in your being.
I walked away from the conversation with two new ideas. Ones that shouldn't be difficult to understand, but for me, things that are still very hard to put into practice.
1. It's not your job to make people happy. Tied to this is the simple fact that you're just not going to be everyone's cup of tea. As someone who in the past has felt like she needs to be everyone's cup of tea (and doing everything I could-- even changing what flavor I was to do so) this was a hard fact that I'm still trying to come to grips with. Furthermore, I'm learning to be okay with that. Because changing my flavor from person to person was leaving me exhausted.
2. The second thing I came away learning is that it's perfectly okay to say no. It's perfectly okay to follow my truth, and do what brings peace and joy into my life. (This doesn't mean trampling on other people along the way, of course.) I often find myself asking myself, "Does this bring me peace? Does it bring my family joy?" And if saying "no" is what does so, I'm trying to do that.
Which now leads me to two resolutions I've made for the new year. Last year my goal was to read a certain amount, and it felt so good when I surpassed my goal. This year, I'd like to have the same goal, but I'm doubling the number. Mind you, I was starting small! The second goal I have for myself is to strengthen the relationships that build me up. I'm an awful texter, and an even worse phone-person. I don't always follow up with a family member or a friend nearly as often as I'd like. But I want to do better this year. Reach out more. Listen more. See more. Stop more. Listen more. Ask more. Be available more.
And I guess the unofficial third goal is a whole lot more cuddles with my babies :)
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