Womp Womp.

So, you know I usually try to keep things pretty light and positive around here, and I will. But, sometimes, you've just gotta let it out, you know? Writing has become a sort of therapy for me in a way it hasn't before. I promise the next post will have more upbeat stuff and pictures (only about 1/100th make it on here....it's embarrassing.) 

It seems like every few months, I go through this mode where I just worry and worry about things that aren't in my control. I fret and worry and worry and fret and it is absolutely exhausting. (And normal. Yes, I do know it's very normal.)

So, here are some things I've been worrying about in list form. Because I do love to list stuff. (Crossing things off a list....well...that's a work in progress.)

Well, without going into too much detail, S has been struggling in an area that she normally really exceeds in. I don't know if it's just a "stage," and Dr. Google tells me it's very common in children her age. But, seeing her struggle is very very very hard. And because I'm aware of this "challenge," I seem to notice it even more every time she does it. It could last a week, months, or maybe she'll grow out of it when she's older. 

BUT, I am grateful that I have two very healthy and happy children. My mother in law pointed out that if she does continue with this (small) struggle, there are a lot worse things. 

Another thing totally out of my control is that my family is moving. To Hong Kong. I really don't think I need to spell it out further. 

I kicked the car door really hard by accident this morning when Pato ran into the street. That was probably in my control, but I figured if I was already complaining, why not throw that in here because it really really hurts. 

Starting to blog for a real site, like.....not just this silly little blog space that I have going in here, is really intimidating. I'm so grateful for the opportunity, but I struggle with feeling very self-conscious about my work.

Whew. I feel much better all of a sudden. 

ANNNDD, okayyyy. Finnnnne. One more picture because...really. 

Pretty sure anatomy is not the biggest difference between J and his sister. It's the fact that he picks up bugs and she doesn't. 

Don't expect her to share her orange with you...

(The story. Not the picture. Well, the picture IS from today...)

S: I'm hungry, mama. Can I have something. (I hear this about 1.87 billion times a day...) 

Me: Sure! How about a clementine?

I then very graciously peel said orange and hand it to over to her. I notice how particularly juicy it looks.

Me: Oh, that looks good! Can I have one?

S: (In a sad sad voice.) No. No, you can't have one. They're not for you. I just have to eat all of them. You just can't have any of them at all. 

She then points towards the orange peels.

S: You can have those, mama! 

Me: Um. Thanks. 

The "perfect photo" process and other things

Just love me! 

Watch the hair! 

How 'bout a hug?! 

Okayyyy, fine.

In other news...

For the first time in a while, I'm really looking forward to tomorrow. This week has been a real doozy, and I'm ready for a fresh start. I was in a car accident Friday night (not fun) but luckily, everyone involved was okay. Note to other drivers: probably not a good idea to run red lights, okay? Much much appreciated. 

S has recently started to want to sit with me as I do my make up. I usually let her play with my brushes, but today she said, "Ah! You need to do my makeup!" While it is mildly cute, this really concerns me. I don't want her to feel like you need makeup to be beautiful, and that beauty come from your looks. I don't know what the answer is because I have to be honest, I do like my makeup. Recently, I've tried to really minimize the amount I use though, and keep it pretty easy. I want to set a good example for S and Pato. C and I also try really hard to not use weight words around our kids (fat or thin). I really dislike that word...fat. 

Lastly. Just discovered dry shampoo. This is a game changer. Considered the game changed. 

Where's Jessie Spano When I Need Her?

So, here's the funny thing about social media. You can post a picture for everyone to see, but people could still have no clue what's really going on.

My mom took this picture of us today, and when she sent it to me I thought, "Wow, if I saw this picture I would have no idea how absolutely exhausted I was!" 

So, I thought I'd take a second to be real real around here and tell you a little about what was really going on...

Pato- I have no earthly clue why he's smiling in this picture. We went to CW to see some sheep (none were out) and some horses (same story) and he yelled if I so much as tried to hold his hand from running into the street. 

S- Sigh. She was doing okay, which was good. But she's been so whiny today. "I'm sooooo hungry! I want a waffle. No! I don't want any waffles. Get me out of my car seat! Get me outta here!!!"

Me- Every day it's been one thing or another. Nothing bad, but I feel like I'm just treading water. I'm just. So. Tired. And, I never wake up fully re-charged in the morning. 

So, there ya go. A little bit of honesty because we all know we could all use a little more of it nowadays. 

In other news...

I am finally doing it. Going through all the seasons of Friends. Could I BE any more excited?  So glad I got my Ross :) 

S and I had another quality poop talk today. I love our potty talks. 

She Says: Things That Are Already Wet

The other night, after having been silent for a good fifteen minutes, S began yelling. I walked to her door to hear what was going on when I heard her yell, "My haiiiir!!!!! Is my hair crazy?!?!?" 

Also.

S had been playing with her tea set in the sunroom, still wearing her "nap shirt" after her nap. (What's a nap shirt? Just what it sounds like. She doesn't like wearing regular clothes for her nap. So she wears one of my t-shirts.)

I saw her run to the bathroom, and come back out naked. That's pretty normal. She played in the sunroom a little longer than ran back to the bathroom. About ten minutes later I realized she was still in there. I found her washing her nap shirt in the sink.

Me: S! What are you doing??

S: Just washing my nap shirt. 

Me: I can see that. But, why?

S: Because it was wet. I told you. 

Pancakes for Dinner

Want to know how our day went? The kids' dinner consisted of pancakes and apple slices. Oh, and those apple slices came pre-cut from a bag. 

We needed something that required no thought, and you know what? We're going to do it more often. 

Today had its really fun and great moments (like watching doughnuts being made right in front of us) but S has been a real whine-fest lately. Since someday I'll want to remember the good and the ugly (slash crazy) I want to make sure to write these things down. 

So, without further ado....

In the latest saga of "Why My Two-Year-Old Thinks I'm the Worst": 

I wouldn't let her drive the car.

I couldn't remove the invisible bobby pins from her hair. (Maybe if I hadn't been in the driver's seat...driving...I may have been able to find those darn invisible things.) 

Selfie Series: Ghosthunters Edition

Not sure how she figured this one out...

Admittedly, when I first found these pictures I got super creeped out for a second. Didn't know what it was till I saw the bangs. Dead giveaway. 

Selfie Series

Every night before bed, I take a few minutes to look over the pictures I took that day. C and I will talk about them, and laugh about the silly things the kids did that day.

A couple of times now in the last week, I've looked at my camera roll, and found about fifty pictures that are almost identical. Looks like someone has learned to use the camera! And since I'm the mushiest person who gets sentimental over the lamest things, I hate deleting even one of them! 

I know. Ten years from now I will probably think, "Why on earth would you save fifty pictures of the corner of her head that are all virtually the same?" I'll tell you why.

Because I'm crazy like that! Have I not said that enough already??

Anyway. I figured if I made a collage of each I still have a way to keep them, and delete the other forty one pictures. 

I know. I, too, am shocked by my brilliance.

She Says: Conversations on the Toilet

I had a funny conversation with S today while she was going to the bathroom. She normally prefers her privacy when she's going #2, but today, I told her I'd rather sit with her and just talk.

S: Mama. I need to go Mr. Poop now. You go away now? You need to leave me alone.

Me: Can I stay here with you? We can just a talk.

S: Okay...I think I need to go a BIGGG poop. Oh! I think my tummy's getting bigger. It's getting SO big!

(three seconds of silence go by)

I like to sit like this. (Leans back all the way.) It is soooo comfortable. I think I'm going Mr. Poop now! (gasp!) I think it makes me not sick anymore!

***

In this case, I rather enjoyed the potty talk :)

What Could Have Been

This girl. She is silly. She is curious. She is constantly looking out for others. She is passionate and already loves so deeply. 

Maybe it's because her third birthday is not too far away, or maybe I blame her bangs for making her look all grown up, but everyday I notice more and more how her baby and toddler days are behind us. 

Today, as she sat across from me at lunch, insisting on drinking the tall glass of water all by herself, I suddenly found myself thinking, "What if it were just the two of us?"

It has not happened a ton, but from time to time I wonder what life would be life if Pato hadn't come along as quickly as he did. Would I have decided to work part-time? Would S and I go out for lunch more often? Would I be more patient with her? Would I actually be able to keep up with the laundry? (Oh, wait, I can answer that...no.)

I used to have a lot of guilt. I worried that she wasn't getting enough one-on-one time with me. I worried that the one year we did have together wouldn't be enough for me. I worried that she was missing out on things simply because I didn't have it in me to take them both out by myself to new places.

And then...this happens. I am so fortunate that this is really a daily occurrence.  Multiple times a day, they find each other, and in their own way, show their love. Oh, yes. They fight. I can't figure out why they always want to play with the same exact thing. They scream, and there's sometimes even hair pulling.

When they're not fighting, they play and and laugh and dance together. I can't make this stuff up. Here they are playing horse-y in the middle of the post office. 

I love to listen to them talk to one another. J has been picking up on so many words lately, and I think it's because he just wants to keep up with his sister. S will often tell me what he wants, and I've found myself asking her, "What did he just say?" 

So, yes. Maybe I'd get more done, and maybe I would have lots of amazing memories with just my little girl, but I'm glad that a different plan was in store for us. I'm glad that Pato surprised us because he was the best surprise of our lives. 

Looking Back: Outer Banks and Greenville

So...way back in May, (Mother's Day weekend/our anniversary) we took a quick trip to North Carolina to visit my brother and sister-in-law and their family. They were blessing their new (delicious) little guy, and C's brother had just graduated with his Master's degree from East Carolina University. Although the trip was quick, it's always great to get together with family.

It's times like those that I wish we lived closer to family. Have my kids be able to grow up and make memories with their cousins and their grandparents. Have the chance to say, "Hey! We're making cookies. Come over!" Or, "Can you watch the kids so I can run to an appointment?" When my in-laws came a couple of weeks ago, I found myself on a solo grocery shopping trip while the kids napped. I actually walked down the aisles at a normal pace, as opposed to racing down them like a speed demon because I know that I have approximately 9.5 minutes before my kids are ready to run around like mini Tasmanian devils. You know the one, right? From the Looney Tunes cartoons that spins and spins and destroys everything in its path? Yeah. That.

S and her cousin had such a fun time running around at the Wright Brothers' Museum. It was pretty hot, and I'm pretty sure the last thing I'd ever want to do is run. Kids seem to have a way to just not care about the humidity it seems like.

Speaking of running...these two brothers decided to have a race. Can you spot a little Pato down the path?

Sometimes I really miss that tiny baby stage. And then I remember that Pato still doesn't consistently sleep through the night.

***

In other fun news...

I was invited to blog over at WhatToExpect.com! I was pretty surprised when they contacted me because, really, do I ever make sense? But, I'm looking forward to doing something for myself, and hopefully it will help me stretch myself a bit.

You can find my first post here: I'm a Mom (and a Rockstar Zoologist)

Jumping on Beds and Hide-and-Seek

This was taken yesterday after naps. For some reason, my kids are not the happiest waker-uppers. S has pretty much been that way her whole life. But boy, I miss the days when Pato would wake up laughing and giggling. You'll sometimes catch J in a happy mood, but S usually wakes up really crabby and really sweaty. To try to get them to cheer up quick (because two crabby babies during the pre-dinner hours is kind of the must (un)fun thing ever) I often let them jump on our bed. 

As you can see, Pato was all jumped out. What you can't see is S hiding under all the pillows on the left. That's her favorite hiding spot in the whole house.

Several times a week when C gets home, we will play a game of hide-and-seek together. Although S knows very well how to count to ten, she always says, "1...2...5...10! Ready or not, here I come!" Which means we have about four seconds to throw ourselves into a hiding spot. Finding S is always a cinch because if you're looking anywhere near her hiding spot, she'll jump out and say, "I'm right here!!" And Pato just thinks it's fun to run around :)