I remember really being hit with the fact that I was a mama to a tiny little person when they wheeled me out of the hospital after having S. It was hot, dreadfully humid, and it hurt for me to even turn from one side of the bed to the other. But, I was on cloud nine. As I watched my husband put her carseat into our car, I looked back at the hospital where I had just spent the last three days and thought, "Wait! Hold on. Wheel me back in there! You're just going to let us LEAVE with her?? You know we've never DONE this before, right? What kind of real hospital are you to just let people walk out with babies?!"
Thank goodness we had help from people that knew what they were doing. And when you set the bar low, like "Okay, let's first work on just keeping her alive for now" low, it turns out you can surpass your own expectations pretty quickly.
Back to mama.
I tell ya. Sometimes, I wish my kids would call me annnnything but that. Call me any name under the sun- just don't say "mama" for one entire minute.
One time, I decided just for kicks, I'd count how many times I heard my kids say "mama" on the ride home from church. It was pretty close to twenty, and the ride was about fifteen minutes long. I think the average is much higher other times.
And there are so many ways of saying it, aren't there?
Here are just a few I came up with:
"Mama! Do you know where my Lightning McQueen issssss??" He only loses it like a million times a day.
There is also...
"Mamaaaaa....pleassssse! I want to paint my nails nowwwww." Did I mention we are now the proud new owners of a pink nailed-polished blanket. (Just grin and smile. Grin and smile!)
Oh, and you can't forget the...
"Mama. Mama. Mama. Mama. MAMA. Watch me! ARE YOU WATCHING?!"
But then, there are the "mama's" that make your heart almost skip a beat.
"Mama. Will you cuddle me?"
Lastly, my all time favorite: "I love you, mama."
And doesn't it just get ya when they tell you that you love you after you've had a particular crummy day where you didn't exactly nail it in the mama department? It's like they know.
Last but not least, there's just "mama."
This morning, S came quietly into our room saying that she didn't feel well. She crawled up next to me, and just said, "mama." She said it in a way that I knew she hurt and I knew she needed me. So she laid with her head on my chest for the next hour or so, and I just held my little girl. I kept repeating, "I'm right here, baby," as I stroked her hair.
I am the luckiest to have two amazing little people call me "mama." Sure, sometimes I feel like my day is like a broken record of "mama's" but there's no other name that is more important to me. Inevitably, they'll outgrow the "mama" phase and move on to just calling me "mom" and that's okay, too. But, I'll forever treasure these mama days, and remind myself that they're short, so I'll take every version of "mama" I can get.
"Mama" necklace c/o Leila. You can find the exact necklace here. I haven't taken it off since I got it :) I'm a sentimental sap like that.