when you mom's a turd

Sometimes your mom is a turd.

And she sends you to your room because you have a lot of feelings, and sometimes those feelings are hard to put into words. So you get upset about what's for breakfast or stomp your feet or cry or you say you don't like something even though you do. And sometimes mom is counting to ten a million times over in her head and taking deep breath after deep breath because the only thing bigger than the pile of laundry in the house is the pile of feelings. And mom wants everyone to feel all the feelings because she knows that's best. But sometimes, she makes you take your pile to your room.

And then mom puts the baby down for a nap and sits in silence because she wishes she could do it all. So she goes to your room to apologize and ask for a hug. She thinks you're in your room reading, but then finds you asleep in your bed.

And she remembers that you woke up early, and it's hard to talk about how you feel when you're tired.

And she remembers that sometimes it's hard to get a word in when you have a baby brother that likes to yell and a big sister that has her own big feelings.

And she remembers that you're only five years old.

And she remembers that you're doing the best you can.

And she remembers that she's doing the best she can, too. Which means she'll act like a turd, but then she'll say sorry and try again.