What do you do?

Monday, May 6, 2013

Okay. So, I'm kind of excited about this. I've seen the "Blog Every Day in May" challenge a few times the last couple days, and today I decided I'd jump on board. It originates from this site. Seeing as how I've blogged *almost* every day so far, I thought i'd just pick up from here. I decided to take on the challenge because it will give me a few minutes to think and to ramble. But mostly to think.

Today's prompt: What do you do?

The question alone almost makes me want to cry. Probably because I am just so darn tired. Probably because sometimes you really feel like you need a break. Last night was not easy. Little man was up pretty much every hour and it doesn't help that we are all sick at the moment. 

Being a mom is a full time job. I've had a job since high school, and worked part time from when S was born to when J was born. I used to think, "Man, when I get to stay home full time I'll be my own boss and it will be easier!" I knew it would be hard, but I was so wrong with that mentality. 

First off, I'm not my own boss. My kids are. Hmm...there might be something wrong with that by some parenting books' standards, but it's the truth. Someone's having a hard day and wants to cry? Guess I won't be running to Target. Somebody has to take a nap right now? Guess I better use this time to do clean. 

My husband is a really smart guy who interacts with a lot of really really smart people. They are all very interesting and accomplished and just so friendly. Total package. Yet, when I am around them I feel really little sometimes. Not because they are mean or look down at me. Not at all. I just feel like, "Well...I didn't do any major research. Unless you consider really digging into J's nose with the nose bulb to get all the snot out "major research."Lots of times I haven't the SLIGHTEST clue what they are talking about, and I have to remind myself, "It's okay, Karim. You're not dumb! You're smart!" I know stuff. I know how S likes to be cuddled when she's sad. I know when J is feeling left out and wants to play. 

So, what do I do?

  • I give kisses. I clean. I cook. I microwave stuff. I cuddle. I nurse my baby. I make silly faces. I laugh. I cry. I pray. I wipe noses. I sing "Wheels on the Bus," and "Pop Goes the Weasel" more times than I'd like. I get dressed for the day. I crash on the couch at the end of it. I google absurd things like, "20-month old still not making b or p sounds." I worry about my kids. I worry about my family. I sit and look at my kids and wonder how I got so lucky. 
Being a mom is tough. No, really. But, it's more wonderful than I could have ever imagined. I absolutely love what I do. 


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